i woke up this morning with a mascara covered tissue in my bed. i can't go on living this way. i still can't believe how much of a wreck i was last night. how much pain i endured...just for some stupid little fights. i need to be stronger, i need to overcome myself and stop being so emotional. i need to step up to being that perfect woman i so desire to be. i can't get there by being beat and worn and sorry for myself. i need to grow up. i'd like to send out a special thank you to people who have said nice things to me lately. you're keeping me sane. i feel so completely sane.

i need to call him now, to try to work things out. i love him so much and i can't let this slip out of my hands like before. i have control, i can make this work. i can make everything be okay. my fate is what i make of it. i want to be happy, so i'm going to be happy. i need to stand strong. even if i am alone...