i'm so miserable. i want to fucking die. stab me with a spoon. i can't ever be without him. i miss what we had so badly that i can't even type this. i'm going insane. i have a bad headache. i can't stop shaking, just like anna. but i am so in love, so so in love. why is life such a bastard? seriously. someone give me one good reason why. i can't take this bullshit. i've been too happy, for too long. now is not the time for breakdowns. i need someone to talk to, someone who will understand me, PLEASE, or at least someone who will listen. i am so alone without him. what i wouldn't give to kiss him right now...i'd fucking cut off my left ARM. i need him, so bad. SO FUCKING BAD. it's such a bitch. i want to die because of him. i want to drown in my tears and suffocate in my sadness. i want to dwell on thi fucking bullshit until i fucking go insane. I NEED HIM. why? WHY THE HELL? please help me. i'm going crazy. he left without me getting to say goodbye. i can't get along with him anymore, but i want to, I WANT TO SO BAD. i would give up my LIFE for him. just to be with him. i need him to calm my nerves, to ease the pain. he doesn't know what he does to me. he doesn't know that right now i want to kill myself because i am alone. because he is with his friends that he calls assholes. that he FUCKING HATES ME, no lie. what did i do that was so wrong? i seriously do NOT get it. i'm aving a nervous breakdown. too many tears. so much shaking. i can't type. dammit to all living hell, why do i have to live this way? why do i have to kill myself over stupid things? why can't everything be happy and perfect again? WHY THE HELL NOT? why can't i be good enough for him? i wish a was sweeter, and sexier, and prettier,and skinnier, and FUCKING ANOREXIC, and perfect, and loving, and flawless, and breathtaking, and wonderful, and not SO DAMN ALONE AND BETRAYED. why can't someone just talk to me, and say that everything will be okay? i miss him so much. SO MUCH. i hate summer, i want it to end. i want it to die. i'm so ashamed of who i am. i need some guidance. i want to kill something. this is the most upset i've ever been in my entre life. i need god. HELP ME PLEASE! DON'T LE ME DIE. I NEED YOU. I NEED HIM. I NEED HAPPINESS. it's fading away...