last night was like a nightmare.

it was one of those nights where things are just so out of place, and it feels as if it didn't really exist when you wake up the next morning with burning eyes.

i'm trying to block things out of my mind...

yesterday made 5 months, again. it is good, but it feels like a lifetime, in a very good way. like he has been with me forever, and forever always will be. of course, we don't plan a future together. we don't plan anything. life comes one day at a time, and we intend to take it that way. we spent a 1 1/2 hour phone conversation last night making amends until i just had to go.

6 hours of sleep and i'm at it again.

...i never want the past to recurr.

i'm remembering lots of things lately. like how listening to norah jones sing "don't know why" while i looked out the hotel window in vegas at all the bright lights at night, and how infinite i was feeling.

it's like charlie in the perks of being a wallflower, and how he listened to the smith's "asleep" and had that same feeling...

what startled me is that the other night i realized that i too, can have my own special feeling right here in town. if you listen to "i know" by fiona apple in the sprinkling rain at nighttime while driving in your car down the endless highway 6, you too can find bliss.

life is all in the way your perceive it, i say.

"...While you try to find the lines to speak your mind, And pry it open, hoping for an encore, And if it gets too late, for me to wait, For you to find you love me, and tell me so, It's ok, don't need to say it."