i just don't know.

the last few days have been absolutely amazing. it snowed in texas!! we had off school. lots of hot chocolate. spent all my time with zack. we've been doing really well.

today we kind of got mad at each other though. i wish i was better at taking jokes. i'm torn because i want to be tough and not take any shit from anyone, but i also want to just relax and take it easy. i just feel kind if defeated right now.

sometimes i get these wild ideas of crash dieting and they always seem really appealing until i get hungry again. i know i'm not fat, but i've got pudge. most of the time i am 100% comfortable with my body. but when someone calls me a fatass, i start to think a little differently.

UGH damn metabolism.

i just want to be a fucking bombshell, you know. every girl does.